Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Four Types of People Who Draw Close to the Tzaddik

Four Types of People Who Draw Close to the Tzaddik
Kitzur Likutey Moharan - Lesson 31 - 24 Tevet
A True Tzaddik's teachings are like an intense light which penetrates into the deepest part of your soul and illuminates even the otherwise unreachable dark places inside of you.

I have to admit, that I have a tendency to use overly dramatic language. I almost can't help it. It's one part loathsome vanity ("Look at my mastery of the written word!") and another part shield for my deepest insecurities and imposter syndrome ("If I write the same way I talk in regular conversations, people won't care what I have to say, because it's not all that original.") This leads to me trying to somehow match my language to the substance of the ideas that I've been blessed enough to glean from Rebbe Nachman. It should go without saying that this is ridiculous, because who, exactly, am I to think that Rebbe Nachman's words need my cheap window-dressing. Which is why, I think--although I'm not certain--that there is a lot more value to this blog if I just get real with you about how the ideas affect my life, personally, in the hopes that if you are having similar experiences, this can lead to to your own insights and revelations from the very same lessons.

All that being said, let me try to rephrase what I started out saying in a way that is hopefully more relatable.

I've found that almost everyone who finds themselves drawn to Rebbe Nachman's teachings are the types of people who have a natural tendency to feel deeply. This isn't to say that aspiring Breslovers aren't rational or analytical types. (The whole idea that being rational and being emotional are mutually exclusive is a foreign concept to Rebbe Nachman and authentic Torah Judaism, which appear to very clearly understand the intellectual and emotional faculties as complementary and equally necessary in all people).

So I hope it's not a stretch to assume that anyone who takes the time to read what I'm writing here, can understand, in some way, what it's like to have that moment of clarity, that mental and emotional spark and sizzle, when the light of Rebbe Nachman's teaching hits you deep, and you feel as if you've just been given an unspeakably amazing--if all too brief--gift where, for a tiny infinitesimal point in time, your innermost feelings and thoughts and emotions were in harmony with something fundamental in the structure of the world around you.

Or if that doesn't capture it, maybe it can just be described as a single moment of truth, contentment, and truly grasping something real.
If you've experienced this, you can understand that this is powerful stuff we're dealing with.

As always, Rebbe Nachman knew this and knew all the implications of this. So he gave us a lesson as a guide to experiencing the True Tzaddik's light.

In Kitzur Likutey Moharan 31, Reb Noson summarizes Rebbe Nachman's explanation about the fourt different types of people who receive the light of Torah from the Tzaddik through his teachings, which parallel the four famous Rabbis who entered the "Orchard."

First, are those who attach to the Tzaddik's light through his Torah teachings and do so with just the right measures and understandings and patience, internalizing the Tzaddik's teachings in all their details. These people are affected by that light to become upright Jews, like Rabbi Akiva in the Orchard event.

Second, are those who receive the Tzaddik's great light into their heart with a burning fervor "however it burns too fervently, and as a result, the person can become insane," like Ben Azai.

Third, are those who take that excessive fervor so far that not only do they become insane, but they consequently bring about their own demise, like Ben Zoma.

Finally, there are those who receive from the Tzaddik, but because they come "with twistedness and grievances in [their] heart," they (intentionally or unintentionally) use the Tzaddik's teachings towards building a belief in heresy, until each and everyone one of these types "will distance himself completely, separate himself from the Tzaddik, and turn into an opponent and a scoffer," all in the same way as Acher in the Orchard.

Rebbe Nachman explains that even the second and third type are called "righteous," even though the only true path and option (because no one wants to become insane or die) is to be like Rabbi Akiva.

It's fairly easy to read this and think that this should all go without saying. Of course we should be like Rabbi Akiva and not the other three. We already know that.

The yetzer hara, though, is a trickster. He is, like Rebbe Nachman says, like a man who runs around a room with a closed fist and convincing everyone that they need to chase after him to find out what important thing he is holding, until he's finally led them far away from their true place only to open his hand and reveal that he wasn't holding anything at all.

My yetzer hara is constantly trying to convince me that I'm not attached to Rebbe Nachman at all, because I'm not fervent enough. My zealousness is lax compared to everyone else. "What do you do?" he says. "You write a silly blog, not even able to keep up with a daily schedule? You only did 45 minutes of Hitbodedut yesterday? Can't even do an hour? You don't burn with a true desire to follow Rebbe Nachman's path to get closer to your Creator!"

He's tricky, that yetzer. He knows I am highly unlikely to fall into complete heresy (although, knowing how low I am, and how little I know, I wouldn't be surprised if that is the real ultimate goal and that it was more likely than I truly think, G-d Forbid). But he knows that if he can bring me down by insulting my level of fervor, he can then build up that broken version of me into a Ben Azai, until I eventually lose my grasp on sanity.

People probably think that it's a bit of an exaggeration to say that a normal, mentally healthy (at least in comparison to many others) person can go crazy from learning chassidus.

But, logically, wouldn't it make sense that people who truly care about the supra-rational, inexplicable, and Infinite G-dly reality behind the veil of this physical world, are also the one's who stand a chance to lose enough of their rationality trying to understand something impossible to understand with our tiny finite minds?

And set aside the logical argument. Rebbe Nachman, the True Tzaddik, the spiritual doctor until the coming of Mashiach, tells us explicitly that this is what can happen; By receiving his light through learning his teachings, you can lose your mind (or die, or become a heretic, G-d forbid).

I think all of this is to tell us how important it is to keep a balanced, clear, faithful mind when learning from Rebbe Nachman and Breslov chassidus. Because everything that has the power to completely change your soul and your understanding of Truth for the better, also necessarily has the power to make those changes in the worst way possible.

Which is why, as I understand it, Rebbe Nachman's teachings on something as simple as smiling at a friend are just as important to learn and re-learn as his teachings on what appear (on the surface) to be "deeper" and more esoteric.

Rabbeinu provided us with a path. It gives us all a lot of flexibility and leeway to travel it in our own way, and to experience the journey back to the Creator in a way unique to each one of our souls. Like anything else in life, though, there are guideposts and standards, and the flexibility can only go so far until we've stepped off the path completely.

Yet as long as we listen to Rebbe Nachman's advice and the hints in our souls sent everyday by Hashem, I am (perhaps naively) optimistic, that we can slowly, slowly, little by little, move closer to connecting with the Master of the Universe in a loving embrace.

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